Get Your Head Straight !

"You're better than this"

Those were the words that kept running through my mind when my personal development professor lectured us about the high number of students slacking-off in her class, me being one of them. Granted, i may procrastinate now and then, but i typically complete my work. But I don't give up on anything important to me, like school. When I do something, it's usually my best. Her words shocked me, for I am no slacker.

Questions ran through my mind when I left my "I'm-slacking-off" class: What's wrong with me? What happened? How come I'm not doing my work? My mind went back and forth:

• Perhaps this is a phase.
• No, it's not a phase; it's something deeper.
• It's the teacher's fault.
• It's too childish to blame it on the teacher.
• It's my fault.
• Perhaps, it's possible.
• It's my classmates fault.

That idea stopped me in my tracks: Maybe I am getting to comfortable with my clasmates. Yes! That's it. Our learning community gets along great; we do lots of stuff outside of class together: we play basketball, go eat, hang-out. I spend more time socializing with my classmates rather than focusing on class topics. The learning community is supposed to help us so that we do our work, but instead it is creating a barrier were we just socialize.

Apparently I'm not the only one in this situation. Most of my classmates who socialize out of class tend to slack of on work too. The ones who aren't simply socializing are getting all the good grades! It makes sense that socializing gets in the way of work. It's not an excuse; it's just the truth. The obvious answer is to spend more time focused on school work rather than hanging out with friend.

But, another truth is that I can hang out with my new friends and do schoolwork together. I like that I feel comfortable -close even- to my classmates. That's a big plus. But that closeness, unless channeled into our purpose (to become better writers & better students), is working against my best interest.

It will be hard to shift the balance from social to intellectual, because we have all gotten used to socializing outside of class but it isn't impossible. We must all contribute to helping eachother in classwork. It will be difficult ... but together we can do it! We must unite.

Success

How do you define Success?

I believe that although i am only 18 years old, i am a very successful young man. In my eyes success doesnt neccessarily have to do with how many figures you make on a paycheck, or how famous you are. Success for me is doing something that makes you feel good about yourself, makes you feel like you have accomplished something. It is the outcome of something you believe to be important.

When i was 14 my mother was sent to prison & sentenced to be there for 5 years. Most of my family expected me to be a "fuck up" in life since this has been the third time in my life that my mom has gone to prison. I moved from house to house with different family memebers never quite fitting in. Although most of them expected me to drop out or fall into the temptation of drugs, i proved them all wrong. I graduated with a 3.0 GPA from my high school, was the varsity football captain, & a 2 year varsity player for 4 different sports.

The ability to rise after you have fallen makes you successful. I fought for what i believed to be right and did something with my life. Ofcourse i am not done with my studies but i am still a successful person. Dedicated to pursuing my dreams. I believed that graduating against the odds was important therefore making me a successful person. Dont be affraid of what you think is right. Fight for your dreams and anything you achieve will show your success. Being resiliant is a great to be a succesful person.

Identity

What makes up your identity ? Is it culture ? Is it made up by choice ?

This question troubles many of us because it is very hard to answer. Some believe that you are born with it. Others think that your identity is shaped by culture , & then many believe its shaped by personal choices. I think they all contribute in their own way.

The way i see it, you are born a specific gender so that itself is a factor in your identity. I am a male so it is expected for me to be strong, have courage, and treat women with respect. There arent many other factors that you are born with which make up your identity.

My culture has a bigger impact on identity than my birth. You are around culture so much that you grow accostumed to it and make it a part of who you are. I was raised in a culture were a man must always show respect to women no matter what happens. This shaped me up to become a gentlemen and the man i am today.

For me, personal choices contribute the most to my identity. The reason being that I always CHOOSE to do something. I choose to follow my culture, I choose who I want to be around and I also choose what I pay attention to. Everything we do we chose to do it consequently adding to who you are as a person or who you become in the future.

Embracing Otherness

Im in my stance facing my opponent on the field, listening to the roaring crowd, the sweat, the pain, my body being pushed to its limits, the great feeling of victory coming my way; yeah thats when im most myself. Under the friday night lights, fighting to bring a victory.

Playing football is something that i enjoy. It creates a feeling of inexplicable joy inside me. It makes me feel like if I am truly myself.

When I am playing football i feel free, like i am unstoppable. All my worries seem to disappear. Anything that was bothering me simply vanishes. It's just me and my teammates pursuing the same goal together.

I found that doing something you really enjoy will make you feel like you are yourself. It brings a feeling of oneness that that represents our "self". Oneness or otherness is not something we should be affraid of or run from.

Otherness defines who we are in the end, because our "self" changes constantly throughout our lives. It is essential that you find that one thing you truly love to do and embrace it because that creates who you are. You cant find out who you truly are if you don't open your eyes and accept otherness.